Category Archives: Mothers

“I Feel Like Myself”

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Take a minute and think about this…

Do you ever wake up after being sick or after a difficult season in life and think, “Ahh, I feel like myself today.” Maybe you didn’t even realize that you didn’t feel like yourself until you did…
This happened to me the other day.

What does that mean to ” feel ourselves”… does that mean happier, stronger, confident, or simply ‘familiar’. I think that “feeling ourselves”  indicates a return to a better place.  I think it also means that we know ourselves enough to know what it feels like to NOT be ourselves. So with these two simple reflections, I conclude that Not feeling ourselves points toward a negative space, and who wants to be there… or at least not ‘stay’ there.

Sometimes this space could be getting sick, being depressed or  unmotivated. Those that know me well know that I attribute many things to diet, both spiritual and actual. The first thing I reflect on is how am I spending my time; my minutes :), my hours, my days.  Am I starting my day with time in God’s word (I love Oswald Chambers: My Utmost for His Highest), did I get enough sleep, what have I been eating or not eating lately etc. I check to see if I have contributed to this space I am in (or was in). I am also extremely reflective and tend to take responsibility for everything… (I know none of you can relate 😉 )  Therefore I have learned, am learning that it is not always me and I have to let go of trying to figure something out that I can’t or shouldn’t or don’t need to. No matter which scenario you can relate to, I believe that we learn in these places of ‘not ourselves’ so when we do return we hopefully are better than before. And who doesn’t want to better than before in any area!

One of my favorite verses in the bible is James 1:2-5 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

I find this very comforting to know that trials produce something. I want to be “mature and complete not lacking anything”.  Many times we look for life to complete us, someone or something to help us feel ‘ourselves’ important, valued, loved… I have learned that I am complete in just how I was created, imperfect as that might be, it is perfected through my salvation, accepting Jesus as my Lord September 4, 1982… wow that was a long time ago…  I am confident (more than before… the “better”) of my person hood, who I am, what I am about, what I believe and why. I am settling into this new place of being myself quite nicely…until I wake up one day soon and think “Ahhh, I feel myself today…” ❤

YOU are beautiful and perfect and valuable… Just the way you are. HE said so…

Enjoy this song, It helps me feel myself.

 

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Those Little Moments in Time…

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The other day I was minding my own busy business, going about my day “cooking cleaning ironing scrubbing” as my husband says, when I get a photo text from my youngest son.  It is a picture of a water tower asking me if it looks familiar.  I texted back “Yes?… Are you in the area?”.                      You see he is back on a college campus working towards a Masters Program.  He is only an hour and a half away which is close compared to the 11 hours away he once was… And we did just have lunch together the previous week.                                                                                                                                      But all of you mom’s know, that ‘If You Give a Mom a Minute ‘ she will, if possible, drop everything to see her children, no mater if they are 5 or 25, which my son happens to be (the latter).                             He texted back “yes”. He was going to the movies with a friend and then out for Sushi at a favorite spot. It happened that I would be running errands “down that way” and we agreed to meet up.            It was only a moment , but it was grand.  I picked him up some power bars and biscuits to take back with him, because you know that we Always think our kids need food.  We hugged and chatted in the parking lot, they went in for food and I went home filled with joy at these (literal) minutes in time.
Thank you my son for blessing me with that moment.  One I will never forget and may even Blog about  🙂

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Once a Mother, Always a Mother

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Take a Minute and consider this…

What is a mom? When does this phenomenon begin?
At conception? Conception of what?
A child, a mentoring friendship, signing Adoption papers?
And perhaps more curious, When does it end…

Webster’s defines a mom as…

  1. Mother(noun) a female parent; especially, one of the human race; a woman who has borne a child
  2. Mother(noun) that which has produced OR nurtured anything; source of birth or origin; generatrix (beginning point of reference)
  3. Mother(noun) an old woman or matron (well earned)
  4. Mother(noun) the female superior or head of a religious house, as an abbess, etc (Respect)
  5. Mother(noun) hysterical passion; hysteria … LOL
  6. Mother(adj) received by birth or from ancestors; native, natural; as, mother language; also acting the part, or having the place of a mother; producing others; originating
  7. Mother(verb) to adopt as a son or daughter; to perform the duties of a mother to

I especially like #2, #5, #6 and #7.

In #2,  One can ‘produce ‘ something but not necessarily ‘nurture’ it and as well, one can ‘nurture ‘ something but did not actually ‘produce’ it. The key here is the nurture. Any woman who has been a mother to anyone (produced or not) has the opportunity to Nurture. Some of the closest relationships I have observed were not biological.

#5 just makes me chuckle… These words in an actual dictionary actually connected to the word Mother, give me great pleasure and justification to admit I have ‘been there’… to the brink of hysterical passion and hysteria on occasions too numerous to count. Just ask my sons…

I love the generational humanity that #6 suggests. There is a connection between biological mothers and children that is forever, whether there has been nurture or not.  This passes down through the generations of Great grandmothers, grandmothers etc. It is as it is, there is no changing the people from whom we are connected to. Generational love is a powerful thing.

In #7 the word Adopt suggests intention.  I love that word.  It means ‘determination to act a certain way’, deliberate. Anyone who has gone through the process of actual child adoption knows the long arduous process that can often take years. (I know a little bit about that as my sister adopted her son, my nephew, from Kazakhstan 12 years ago). It takes a lot of intention, and money. It is a choice to give life to a baby/child whether from conception or not. ‘Performing’ the daily joys and trials of unending duties connected to mothering for children of any age takes deep love and commitment.

So with these ‘definitions’ of Mother, how does anyone determine when this ‘position’ in life actually begins and ends.  Some say it begins at conception and ends when the child turns “of age”, such as 21, that they are now an ‘adult’ and what…. a mother is no longer needed or worse yet, wanted…

There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of my grown sons, want to talk with them, see them, spend time together, know that everything is good, life is treating them well, are they happy etc.  It is like breathing, it just happens without thought or effort.  I don’t always have the answers to my wondering, or for various reasons, the opportunity to connect. The point is I am a Mother and I love my sons.  I love others that I consider mine and everything I feel for my own, I feel for them.

I say it is Forever.  I determine this not anyone else. No one can take the fact away from me or you. Once a mother, always a mother.

Take a minute to receive the honor of that position. Take another minute to express it.

These are some of my  favorite mom’s and friends. I honor you ALL.

Karens (16)0718151838a~2[1]

 

Goodbyes…

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How long does it take a Mother to say good bye? A MINUTE?  An Hour? My eldest son (25 in 3 days) thinks it takes me to long.  He says that I have a ‘problem’ with saying good bye…

I enjoy my sons. I love who they are becoming. I love the challenges for me as a parent to grow along with them.(which I like to call opportunities because not all parents take them)  I thank him for the ‘opportunity’ to assess this apparent dilemma (haha “a parent” dilemma… that’s funny!)

It seems I always have ‘one more thing’ to say or ask… Is this a  a delay tactic or fact? I think as a mom when I finally get a chance to talk with my ‘Outbound’ sons, one in NYC (sometimes elsewhere ) and the other in MI (sometimes China)…  I do not want to say good bye. … YES, I confess, it is hard to say good bye.  When I sense the moment drawing near I start stammering and delaying the inevitable with the “one more thing” tactic my youngest used many times as a child, which I will NOW defend, to lengthen the treasured moments of conversing with them. I then get the “maahhhm…” and I (further) awkwardly and quickly say “ok, good bye” and hang up or click the “x” for Skype and as if in that MINUTE proving I can do it!  Knowing it will inevitably happen again…

I am reading a Book called “Empty Nest”… a (very good) book about 31 parents experiences as their children went off to college…  I am reading the book as “homework” for my eldest son, we are writing a Book together… attempting to anyway.

“The last half hour before we pulled away from the curb was freighted with anxiety, hers and ours, with excitement, with admonitions spilling out and tenderness spoken and unspoken, love, confusion, AND the Irresistible Urge to Linger”

…see my son, it is normal!  and although I miss my sons at times (and now my beautiful daughter in law too), I am glad that my sons are out on their own and participating in society away from me. It brings me immeasurable joy.

Here are some Quotes that I like.                                                         Jeff and Dan

How lucky I am to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye to.

Why does it take a minute to say hello and forever to say goodbye?

Where is the “good” in goodbye?

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.  ~Helen Rowland

Great is the art of beginning, but greater is the art of ending.  ~Lazurus Long

Spending a Minute in Texas…. My First

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So here we are in Texas, my Mother and I….  we took a Minute (or two) and headed down to Austin to meet my mother’s cousins for the first time.  It is our first time to Texas as well.

Mary and Teresa Evan, my mother is Edna Faye Evans… their fathers are half brothers (same father).  There are also two others, Susan and Mike who live in their hometown in Minnesota.  The names are different because my grandfather had the spelling changed. On a Document from the late 1800’s as our ancestors came from Prussia, the name was spelled Even and Iwan. There are many reasons for name spelling being changed during this time.

I am not really into Genealogy but what a wonderful blessing to meet family that we never knew existed. Now after three days of adventurous bonding we feel like true ‘kin’ bonded forever as family.

Thank you Mary and Mom for working so hard (and spending many Minutes) connecting the dots of our family. For those of you that do not have family may you discover the bonds of family from friends and perhaps even uncovering distant relatives that can now begin a legacy of family for you.

and… we are ALL part of God’s family, Every One……

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